The flight of the condo

An exciting week in the life of the Dorrians!

We've made an offer on a condominium (flat to you and me, but you know how these Americans like to overcomplicate things). It's a lovely place right in the heart of the liveliest neighbourhood in Seattle - Capitol Hill.

Capitol Hill is full of nut-jobs who might as well wear tin-foil hats on their head as they rage about watering the tree of liberty (more on that later) and avoiding death panels... but luckily that Capitol Hill is in Washington DC! Capitol Hill in Seattle is full of students and artists (and admittedly a few nut-jobs), with lots of fringe theatres and other cool cultural elements. Our (prospective) building also has lots of amenities (including a zen garden!) and, most importantly for you lot, a guest suite. So, if sofa beds aren't your thing, you can come stay with us for about the cost of a B&B.

We're in the midst of all the paperwork at the moment, but the inspection and appraisal have both gone through, so we're close! Fingers-crossed please!

In addition to housebuying we are also both dieting. We've organised as "Biggest Loser" competition with some friends; to add some spice it is Boys vs Girls. So, having not been to the gym in months, I have now been everyday this week - and went twice on Tuesday for 2 hours of CV. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't lost any weight at all thus far, but apparently it takes a while. Watch this space (I promise this blog won't become a Bridget Jones' Diary style wallow in self-pity though... pints 12, cigarettes 40, blah blah blah isn't my sloaney guilt entertaining...).

On a wider front, there are three slight concerns with our venture into real estate.

First, Seattle is apparently due a massive earthquake any time soon. Scientists from Wasila polytechnic (I forget the name of the actual institute) have discovered that the fault-line is much closer to the Emerald City than previously thought. Turns out nobody bothered to earthquake-proof any of the buildings or infrastructure so it's all a little concerning.

Secondly, I'm told that vampires live in a place called Forks, which is about 3 hours drive away, and that they occasionally visit the downtown area. If this turns out to be true, I think it will have a detrimental effect on resale value...

Thirdly, there may be a civil war in America very soon. Nothing to do with me I assure you - though as you know it was part of the plan (divide and conquer). What I hadn't reckoned on was exactly how insane a goodly number of American's are. A significant minority are now turning up to presidential events wearing T-shirts bearing the slogan "water the tree of liberty" - which implies that Obama is a tyrant and that they think he should be killed. Given that a number of these "protestors" are also carrying guns (i.e. assault rifles) it's all a bit concerning (I use the word "protestors" with caveat, as I think it's more likely that they are just unhinged individuals with violent tendencies).

What is this tyranny of which they speak? Expanding healthcare to a larger portion of the population and making it more affordable all round. Hopefully this makes no sense to you (otherwise I am a little concerned...), so let me explain.

In an earlier blog I wrote that the Bible was being distorted to blacken the name of socialism. At the time I had no idea how this was being done, but I have since engaged in some research (don't say I never give you nothing).

In certain areas of the country, various versions of an idea that could be termed 'biblical capitalism' seem to have taken root. The extreme version of this notion is that the Bible was written with the express intention of promoting Capitalism - God intends to operate as the invisible hand and wants his followers to help him. This is clearly a little bit crazy, appealing mainly to the hubristic, such as delusional sociopaths and US Senators. And I'm not kidding about the latter. If you're interested, read up on "The Family" and the C Street house.

The moderate version is more insidious and wider spread. In this version the basic principle is apparently that distribution of wealth is theft, and the Bible is against theft. The problem is that this notion is not Biblical, but comes from a distortion of the Protestant (or Puritan for the Yanks) Work Ethic; in which worldly success compensated for the removal of priestly assurance of salvation post the reformation. So, for moderate biblical capitalists, distribution of wealth is akin to taking from the holy to give to the unholy. It's a good work if they decide to do this themselves (thus adding to their kitty) but if the government forces them to do it via taxation, it is theft. Hence Obama is a tyrant.

The rather massive problem with this is that the Protestant Work Ethic is a side-effect of the reformation, not it's intention. The intention of the reformation was to stop people thinking they could buy their way into heaven, and make them see that salvation is the gift of God. In provocative terms - He distributes his wealth to all who ask for it.

There is way more that I could say on this, but it would get boring for most of you (see here for a good discussion www.lilligren.com/church/money.htm)! Suffice to say that anyone who ever tells you that the Bible mandates capitalism is either misguided or dangerous.

Hope all is well in the UK - more fun dieting tips and less ranting in the next blog I promise!

DD out

Tick Tock Tick Tock

The culture vultures amongst you may have noticed that the photo I used to advertise my premature 30th Birthday Party came from the classic 1976 Sci-Fi movie, Logan's Run, which depicts a society where anyone over 30 is euthanised for the good of society.

Oh how I laughed at my humour whilst I was in the UK! Now I am coming to regret it...

According to the savvy political commentator, and all round good egg, Sarah Palin, President (Prime Minister) Obama is planning to set up Death Panels to see off the old and the unproductive.

I am currently the latter (hence having so much time to devote to blogging...) and in just over a month I will also be aged. The clock is well and truly ticking...

So, the search for work begins! I have contacted theatre's with varying degrees of success, but theatre work won't be enough to pay the bills, especially as my hopes for education work have been scuppered by the major theatre insisting I apprentice (i.e. observe and work unpaid) for a year before I can teach... despite the fact that I have over 5 years relevant experience in the UK. Needless to say I thought that was ridiculous, so am cutting off my nose to spite my face...

Luckily, Seattle seems to be awash with other interesting work possibilities - with lots of non-profit organisations in the vicinity. Also, I am surprised at how easy it is to become a Barrister here. None of the years of training and endless dinners! Apparently it's a week long training course on roasting 'the beans' (which I'm guessing is slang for defendents) and then you start with full medical benefits. There's a firm, that seems to have something to do with a mermaid, which is very popular, so I may start there...

I'm also going to be working on a blog for Kira's Dad. I think you can find it by clicking on my profile name on this site. It's all about sustainability in the hotel and tourism industry.

Kira, by the way, is going great guns. She's still getting voice work from the UK, has two auditions next week, and is organising lots of fun social events - watch this space!

We've also put in an offer on an apartment, and are waiting to hear back - so keep those fingers-crossed!

Keep it real in the UK. Eastside! (of the atlantic...)

DD out

I'd like to buy a vow please!

The wheel of fortune has continued turning for the Dorrian's this week. See if you can guess what the main event was;

_O_ R_ _ _ _ A L

HINT: The answer is not "Poo Removal"

This blog might well be longer when I get a chance to edit it, but it just took me all morning to convert the video file and splice it into small enough pieces to upload. So enjoy the video for now! More later...