Hello All!
For those of you who still haven't heard here's what has happened recently.
1. The theatre in which I was going to be performing over Christmas suffered fire damage in an arson attack by a serial arsonist (who it now seems has been caught).
2. They are working round the clock to repair the damage, but won't be ready for Christmas, so the show had to be cancelled.
3. Therefore, Kira and I are now coming back to the UK for Christmas - and will hopefully see many of you soon!
4. I got my driving licence, so have been experiencing the joys of the internal combustion engine.
In all this, blogging has been far from my mind - and I'm about to go out and learn how to Lindy Hop, then get up at 5am to watch England get trounced by the All Blacks, then watch Arsenal annihilate Sunderland, then watch more devastation in UFC 106, before catching a SeaHawks game and going to Vegas (Oh yeah!) - so this will be quick.
My main thought is about Sarah Palin. Oddly, I find myself feeling sorry for her. Yes, she is uber right wing. Yes, she is playing on the petty, selfish fears of swathes of American's who have adopted her as the photogenic archetype of their own victimhood. Yes, hunting wolves with AK47s and clubbing baby seals to death is loathsome, BUT ultimately, what has she done except have the temerity to accept an invitation from an aged war hero and then follow that invitation through?
At times it seems like she is being vilified for daring to exist, a dinosaur (therefore put there by God?) to liberals, a hero to the far right, she didn't so much seek the limelight as have it thrust upon her - and when she is there who can blame her (certainly not an actor!) for wishing to stay in it as long as possible.
Yet again, we have a cautionary tale from our own recent history that has relevance for the American media's treatment of Mrs Palin.
Jade Goody
At first laughed at for her lack of intelligence, then demonised for her intolerance, Jade faced the same plight as Palin - hated by the media that created her for overstaying her welcome. Her journey from victim to villain and back could and should be studied by Palin's team; for Palin has much more in common with Jade than she does with any politician. She is the epitome of a modern celebrity - loved and loathed in equal measure as she symbiotically loves and loathes the media that sustains her.
Who will be the eventual victor? There can be only one. As with Jade before her, if the media strike down Palin, she will become more powerful than we can ever imagine - she will be a media martyr; beneficiary of collective guilt at complicity in her destruction.
With a good team in place she could easily take advantage of this at just the right time. Why work hard at projecting strength in a presidential race when you can win by projecting weakness - casting yourself as a 'victim', as your country is a 'victim'.
We've had Bush as Commander in Thief, get ready for the potential Commander in Grief - Sarah Palin: Field Marshall of the Hard Done By.
And the liberal media will have nobody to blame for it but themselves, as they create sympathy in the minds of American's as a heartless prosecutor does by going after a 'pretty but not too bright' defendent. Who cares if she's guilty - they are being mean to her!
If we want Sarah to start Palin into insignificance we need to start ignoring her - not continuing to write her own mythology. That way 2012 lies - and the Mayan's may well turn out to be right.
DD Out
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sleepless in Seattle (oh yes I did!!)
I'm having trouble sleeping, so thought I'd fire off a quick blog post - a lot of material this week!
First and foremost - the invasion is back on... for so many reasons!
Number one: the people here are crying out for democracy, but they are being denied it by the ruling class. Last year's election was indeed free and fair, with UN observers praising advances since the fiasco of 2000, but it turns out the idea that the previous regime would share power was simply too optimistic. They are prepared to go to any lengths to hold onto it - including subverting the democratic process.
Take, for example, the case of Senator Joe Lieberman. Polls show that most of the country want a public option in healthcare, most of the senate and house are prepared to vote for a bill with a public option in it - and that portion of the senate should include good ol' Joe. However, Joe has decided that he will side with the Republicans in a filibuster.
For those of you who didn't take Politics 101, a filibuster is the action of continuously debating a bill so that it never comes to vote. It is a practice started by Cato the Younger in the Roman Senate. Cato would hide under the bed and wait for Julius Caesar to return before attempting to attack him... no, wait, that's a different Cato... THIS Cato would talk and talk until nightfall so the Senate could not complete its business.
The practice hasn't changed much in 2000 years - it still involves pompous assholes enjoying the sound of their own voices as they seek their own ends rather than the furtherance of the democratic process. After all, what can be more undemocratic than denying a vote?
Answer - Joe Lieberman. As Joe should have guaranteed that the Senate be of a complexion where filibusters can't occur (i.e. Democrats have too much of a majority). However, despite the fact that most of his constituents support a public option, and that his state already has a public option, Joe is siding with the Republicans. Why? His state is also home to most of the big insurance companies - so it seems some constituents are more equal than others...
And I'm not even going to get into the fact that Health Insurance companies have largely decided to base themselves in a State that has a public option for them and their employees...
So, regime change is desparately needed to bring back democracy to this region. Not least because they have stockpiled large numbers of weapons of mass destruction.
Number Two: They are desperate for British culture here, but can't quite get it right. Evidence for this is found in my trip to the 'local' pub last night. First, it's not local. It took me an hour to get there on the bus (which is not red nor double-decker). Then, when I got there it was more like a shack than a proper pub building - and clearly used to have saloon doors, which they'd replaced with full-sized ones. The game was streamed via the internet (dodgy satellite anyone?), so kept slowing down when the download speed dropped. even the team was wrong - it was Arsenal but in a parallel universe where Bendtner and Senderos start; though the Liverpool team did seem normal. On the plus side the score was right (2-1 to the gunners) and they serve the first decent on-tap lager I've had here, but the chants...
One wannabe gooner chanted "We are the Arsenal, We are from WEST London", and the main chant of the evening was "Who likes Arsenal? We do". I mean, do they not know that you are supposed to watch Arsenal in total silence?! In fairness, even the local teams have trouble with chants (at the sounders they flash them up on a screen bouncing ball style) - but that is something an invasion could remedy!
The final insult came in the gents at the end of the night - where a whole wall was plastered with Man U posters. I have been to pubs all over the UK, including many in Manchester, and I have never seen a single Man U poster that wasn't posted ironically as a dart board. We can't let this stand...
Number Three: You guys need somewhere to send Nick Griffin before this BNP thing gets out of hand. Luckily he'll find lots of like-minded people over here in the 'real' America.
For example, the Pope extended his invitation to Anglicans to come and join the Catholic Church this week - specifically Anglicans who are angry at the elevating of female and gay clergy to Bishophood.
It is much too easy to say that this is just misogyny and homophobia as a whole - there are theological issues that aren't being effectively addressed, so anger occurs at the feeling that belief is being eroded.
However, if Anglicans are prepared to change to the Catholic Church, because of these issues, then they are homophobic and misogynist - as it clearly isn't about belief anymore. And the Pope must think he has an audience here...
He's probably right. This attack ad against legal protection for gay partnerships (i.e. allowing things like hospital visits with a partner) ran recently in Washington State;
"Did you know that in 2004 Scandinavia passed a law legalising same sex marriage. In the same year suicides rose by 25% and illegal drug use rose by 19%"
Wow. How do you counter that? Another argument about subsequence and consequence?
Nothing so subtle. As Stephen Colbert (a very funny pundit over here) pointed out - the ad is flawed because; 1) There is no such country as Scandinavia; 2) None of the countries in Scandinavia passed a same-sex marriage law in 2004; 3) The statistics about suicide and drug use are completely made up.
So, intolerance supported by false information - sounds like the perfect busman's holiday for Griffin. Maybe it won't even take an invasion - we could call him out in the same way that the Pope is calling out intolerant anglicans! "Dear Nick, Please feel free to come to 'real america' if you get sick of acceptance and multiculturalism in the UK. We're WASPs too! You would have to pledge allegiance to our flag... but on the plus side it is red white and blue..."
Number Four: They are trying to invade us! Time for a pre-emptive strike!
Evidence of this is seen in the recent NFL London game - 85,000 Yanks in Wembley! It's not right I tell you! And now they want two games a year!!
You can also see it in Pop Culture. They are just about to release The Boat That Rocked over here (did ANYONE watch it in the UK??) and have rebranded it Pirate Radio, with the tag-line "When the British Government banned Rock n Roll, One American DJ took them on". What?!? So Radio Luxembourg was made up of one American DJ was it?!? What is this, a Mel Gibson movie? Bravecast? "You can take our stones, but you'll never take our Beatles!"???
They are clearly readying an advance party and we need to strike first.
Rant over
DD out
First and foremost - the invasion is back on... for so many reasons!
Number one: the people here are crying out for democracy, but they are being denied it by the ruling class. Last year's election was indeed free and fair, with UN observers praising advances since the fiasco of 2000, but it turns out the idea that the previous regime would share power was simply too optimistic. They are prepared to go to any lengths to hold onto it - including subverting the democratic process.
Take, for example, the case of Senator Joe Lieberman. Polls show that most of the country want a public option in healthcare, most of the senate and house are prepared to vote for a bill with a public option in it - and that portion of the senate should include good ol' Joe. However, Joe has decided that he will side with the Republicans in a filibuster.
For those of you who didn't take Politics 101, a filibuster is the action of continuously debating a bill so that it never comes to vote. It is a practice started by Cato the Younger in the Roman Senate. Cato would hide under the bed and wait for Julius Caesar to return before attempting to attack him... no, wait, that's a different Cato... THIS Cato would talk and talk until nightfall so the Senate could not complete its business.
The practice hasn't changed much in 2000 years - it still involves pompous assholes enjoying the sound of their own voices as they seek their own ends rather than the furtherance of the democratic process. After all, what can be more undemocratic than denying a vote?
Answer - Joe Lieberman. As Joe should have guaranteed that the Senate be of a complexion where filibusters can't occur (i.e. Democrats have too much of a majority). However, despite the fact that most of his constituents support a public option, and that his state already has a public option, Joe is siding with the Republicans. Why? His state is also home to most of the big insurance companies - so it seems some constituents are more equal than others...
And I'm not even going to get into the fact that Health Insurance companies have largely decided to base themselves in a State that has a public option for them and their employees...
So, regime change is desparately needed to bring back democracy to this region. Not least because they have stockpiled large numbers of weapons of mass destruction.
Number Two: They are desperate for British culture here, but can't quite get it right. Evidence for this is found in my trip to the 'local' pub last night. First, it's not local. It took me an hour to get there on the bus (which is not red nor double-decker). Then, when I got there it was more like a shack than a proper pub building - and clearly used to have saloon doors, which they'd replaced with full-sized ones. The game was streamed via the internet (dodgy satellite anyone?), so kept slowing down when the download speed dropped. even the team was wrong - it was Arsenal but in a parallel universe where Bendtner and Senderos start; though the Liverpool team did seem normal. On the plus side the score was right (2-1 to the gunners) and they serve the first decent on-tap lager I've had here, but the chants...
One wannabe gooner chanted "We are the Arsenal, We are from WEST London", and the main chant of the evening was "Who likes Arsenal? We do". I mean, do they not know that you are supposed to watch Arsenal in total silence?! In fairness, even the local teams have trouble with chants (at the sounders they flash them up on a screen bouncing ball style) - but that is something an invasion could remedy!
The final insult came in the gents at the end of the night - where a whole wall was plastered with Man U posters. I have been to pubs all over the UK, including many in Manchester, and I have never seen a single Man U poster that wasn't posted ironically as a dart board. We can't let this stand...
Number Three: You guys need somewhere to send Nick Griffin before this BNP thing gets out of hand. Luckily he'll find lots of like-minded people over here in the 'real' America.
For example, the Pope extended his invitation to Anglicans to come and join the Catholic Church this week - specifically Anglicans who are angry at the elevating of female and gay clergy to Bishophood.
It is much too easy to say that this is just misogyny and homophobia as a whole - there are theological issues that aren't being effectively addressed, so anger occurs at the feeling that belief is being eroded.
However, if Anglicans are prepared to change to the Catholic Church, because of these issues, then they are homophobic and misogynist - as it clearly isn't about belief anymore. And the Pope must think he has an audience here...
He's probably right. This attack ad against legal protection for gay partnerships (i.e. allowing things like hospital visits with a partner) ran recently in Washington State;
"Did you know that in 2004 Scandinavia passed a law legalising same sex marriage. In the same year suicides rose by 25% and illegal drug use rose by 19%"
Wow. How do you counter that? Another argument about subsequence and consequence?
Nothing so subtle. As Stephen Colbert (a very funny pundit over here) pointed out - the ad is flawed because; 1) There is no such country as Scandinavia; 2) None of the countries in Scandinavia passed a same-sex marriage law in 2004; 3) The statistics about suicide and drug use are completely made up.
So, intolerance supported by false information - sounds like the perfect busman's holiday for Griffin. Maybe it won't even take an invasion - we could call him out in the same way that the Pope is calling out intolerant anglicans! "Dear Nick, Please feel free to come to 'real america' if you get sick of acceptance and multiculturalism in the UK. We're WASPs too! You would have to pledge allegiance to our flag... but on the plus side it is red white and blue..."
Number Four: They are trying to invade us! Time for a pre-emptive strike!
Evidence of this is seen in the recent NFL London game - 85,000 Yanks in Wembley! It's not right I tell you! And now they want two games a year!!
You can also see it in Pop Culture. They are just about to release The Boat That Rocked over here (did ANYONE watch it in the UK??) and have rebranded it Pirate Radio, with the tag-line "When the British Government banned Rock n Roll, One American DJ took them on". What?!? So Radio Luxembourg was made up of one American DJ was it?!? What is this, a Mel Gibson movie? Bravecast? "You can take our stones, but you'll never take our Beatles!"???
They are clearly readying an advance party and we need to strike first.
Rant over
DD out
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Internationally Lampooned Cascade Adventure
Evening all, - or rather morning for Japanese blog followers, and sorry to wake you English Blog readers!
Or rather should I say British Followers! As we have just been joined by our Scottish friend, Simon Masterton.
Sadly, Simon was no help at all in my quest for weight loss. Yes, yes, he did force me to go on hikes with him through the beautiful North Cascades (more on that later), but he also forced me to make a vat load of pumpkin pie and sugary pumpkin sweets. And once those things are made, they kind of have to be eaten... don't they? Aren't they the same as love??
The North Cascades are a beautiful range of Mountains about 3 hours drive away from Seattle. Sounds fairly accessible, but actually the weather and terrain mean they can only be reached from Spring to Autumn - they only managed to get a road to go through the range in 1970.
We travelled to a place fairly close to the start of the North Cascades Highway (voted one of the most scenic drives in the US) called Diablo Lake. There is an overlook where people who have gorged on pumpkin treats can get the views without leaving their cars (ah America!) but Simon was rather more keen to hike through the "two foot wide right next to the edge of a cliff!" (as Kira termed them) trails.
These were immediately made more interesting by the BEWARE COUGARS sign posted at the start of the trail (actual wild cats rather than predatory older women... raooooww!). Apparently, to ward them off you have to make yourself larger than life by putting your arms above your head. Knowing Kira and I you will be aware that putting our arms above our heads would barely qualify as making us life-size, so we were concerned.
Simon is also a little vertically challenged, but he assured us that his childhood in Scotland had prepared him for any misadventures, as he had walked to school barefoot in 10 inches of snow and fought off wild scottish lions. This sounded feasible to us (they do say Edinburgh is a completely different place outside of the festival...), so we continued.
We were rewarded with majestic views, which hopefully will appear in this part of the blog at some point - though from previous blogs you will be aware that I have not yet worked out how to position photos and the like... darned new fangled technology!! I'm also rather dependent on Si sending photos as I didn't take any (doh!). (Photo's arrived - thanks Si!)
Having conquered the natural world, we decided to rest up at a little place called the Queen of the Valley - which is an awesome B&B; well worth checking out if you are ever in this part of the world (which we hope you will be). Each room themed on a different part of the world. And a working piano with lots of sheet music in the living room, which we made extensive use of - no doubt scaring many Turkeys, which roam wild in the streets of LaConner (the town to which the Queen belongs).
We were able to do so because we were the only guests at the Queen on our evening - so we sang late into the night. Bearing that in mind I was very glad to receive information the next morning, rather than the night before, that apparently the house is haunted. My girlish disposition would have kept me up all night, but as it was I slept like a baby.
The next day we decided to follow up one visit to a scenic spot with a visit to an even more scenic spot - Deception Pass. Sounds like something out of an NFL playbook (oh, see how I assimilate Ben!) or a Dan Brown 'novel', but is in fact a bridge between the mainland and Whidbey Island (named after that sailor who led an expedition into the channel that his captain decided had been 'deceptive'... ). Hopefully some photos will appear below...
After hiking through some trails around Deception Pass, we went to a small town on Whidbey called Coupeville - which I think is where the film Practical Magic was shot. I'll let Si tell you about that himself.
Then on to home via the Mukilteo ferry. Quite an adventure!
So the next day we settled in for a bit and cooked lots of pumpkiny treats with a pumpkin we had bought back in LaConner - hence my weight gain...
On Thursday, Simon and I decided to walk around Seattle - from Downtown to Ballard (about 7 miles along the shore and across a huge set of locks that Salmon swim up). This turned out to be a bad idea, as the weather was biblical (i.e. we should have built an ark). We were both drenched, so felt justified in eating two lunches, and drinking a platter of beer... how did I gain weight again? And yes, you read right, a platter of beer. They, love their ales in the Northwest, and they are served in a manner akin to fine wine, with regional differences and minutiae of taste explained at various microbreweries.
No political comment in this blog as I am both a) bored by the terrible quality of news in the US and b) shocked at the events in politics in the UK (you seem to have a system much like the US now, where there is a 'real' UK anywhere outside of London... scary...). Just stay safe you guys.
More soon! Much sooner this time I promise!!
DD out
Or rather should I say British Followers! As we have just been joined by our Scottish friend, Simon Masterton.
Sadly, Simon was no help at all in my quest for weight loss. Yes, yes, he did force me to go on hikes with him through the beautiful North Cascades (more on that later), but he also forced me to make a vat load of pumpkin pie and sugary pumpkin sweets. And once those things are made, they kind of have to be eaten... don't they? Aren't they the same as love??
The North Cascades are a beautiful range of Mountains about 3 hours drive away from Seattle. Sounds fairly accessible, but actually the weather and terrain mean they can only be reached from Spring to Autumn - they only managed to get a road to go through the range in 1970.
We travelled to a place fairly close to the start of the North Cascades Highway (voted one of the most scenic drives in the US) called Diablo Lake. There is an overlook where people who have gorged on pumpkin treats can get the views without leaving their cars (ah America!) but Simon was rather more keen to hike through the "two foot wide right next to the edge of a cliff!" (as Kira termed them) trails.
These were immediately made more interesting by the BEWARE COUGARS sign posted at the start of the trail (actual wild cats rather than predatory older women... raooooww!). Apparently, to ward them off you have to make yourself larger than life by putting your arms above your head. Knowing Kira and I you will be aware that putting our arms above our heads would barely qualify as making us life-size, so we were concerned.
Simon is also a little vertically challenged, but he assured us that his childhood in Scotland had prepared him for any misadventures, as he had walked to school barefoot in 10 inches of snow and fought off wild scottish lions. This sounded feasible to us (they do say Edinburgh is a completely different place outside of the festival...), so we continued.
We were rewarded with majestic views, which hopefully will appear in this part of the blog at some point - though from previous blogs you will be aware that I have not yet worked out how to position photos and the like... darned new fangled technology!! I'm also rather dependent on Si sending photos as I didn't take any (doh!). (Photo's arrived - thanks Si!)
Having conquered the natural world, we decided to rest up at a little place called the Queen of the Valley - which is an awesome B&B; well worth checking out if you are ever in this part of the world (which we hope you will be). Each room themed on a different part of the world. And a working piano with lots of sheet music in the living room, which we made extensive use of - no doubt scaring many Turkeys, which roam wild in the streets of LaConner (the town to which the Queen belongs).
We were able to do so because we were the only guests at the Queen on our evening - so we sang late into the night. Bearing that in mind I was very glad to receive information the next morning, rather than the night before, that apparently the house is haunted. My girlish disposition would have kept me up all night, but as it was I slept like a baby.
The next day we decided to follow up one visit to a scenic spot with a visit to an even more scenic spot - Deception Pass. Sounds like something out of an NFL playbook (oh, see how I assimilate Ben!) or a Dan Brown 'novel', but is in fact a bridge between the mainland and Whidbey Island (named after that sailor who led an expedition into the channel that his captain decided had been 'deceptive'... ). Hopefully some photos will appear below...
After hiking through some trails around Deception Pass, we went to a small town on Whidbey called Coupeville - which I think is where the film Practical Magic was shot. I'll let Si tell you about that himself.
Then on to home via the Mukilteo ferry. Quite an adventure!
So the next day we settled in for a bit and cooked lots of pumpkiny treats with a pumpkin we had bought back in LaConner - hence my weight gain...
On Thursday, Simon and I decided to walk around Seattle - from Downtown to Ballard (about 7 miles along the shore and across a huge set of locks that Salmon swim up). This turned out to be a bad idea, as the weather was biblical (i.e. we should have built an ark). We were both drenched, so felt justified in eating two lunches, and drinking a platter of beer... how did I gain weight again? And yes, you read right, a platter of beer. They, love their ales in the Northwest, and they are served in a manner akin to fine wine, with regional differences and minutiae of taste explained at various microbreweries.
No political comment in this blog as I am both a) bored by the terrible quality of news in the US and b) shocked at the events in politics in the UK (you seem to have a system much like the US now, where there is a 'real' UK anywhere outside of London... scary...). Just stay safe you guys.
More soon! Much sooner this time I promise!!
DD out
Friday, October 2, 2009
Bananas Republics 2 - this time it's intelligible!
Hi All,
Have found some much more intelligent comment than mine on the election; LRB article entitled "Will We Notice When The Tories Have Won?"
http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n18/mcki01_.html
Rob (not saying which one in case that is subject to official secrets!!) you might not like the sentence "defence procurement is notoriously profligate and much of what is bought is useless", but apart from that it's pretty balanced and very well argued.
I particularly like the statement that "Much of the energy of recent governments has been expended on trying to create markets where markets cannot operate – particularly in education and health". Pretty much sums up my position...
Sadly, didn't make it under 170lbs - two pints of sponsored beer and ridiculous amounts of coffee put paid to that by half a pound.
Perhaps Si Masterton will help me keep the pounds off when he arrives on Monday? Lots of adventures planned. Going to try and get him on board with the invasion, and perhaps pick up some mercenaries from the commonwealth (we're going to Vancouver).
DD Out
Have found some much more intelligent comment than mine on the election; LRB article entitled "Will We Notice When The Tories Have Won?"
http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n18/mcki01_.html
Rob (not saying which one in case that is subject to official secrets!!) you might not like the sentence "defence procurement is notoriously profligate and much of what is bought is useless", but apart from that it's pretty balanced and very well argued.
I particularly like the statement that "Much of the energy of recent governments has been expended on trying to create markets where markets cannot operate – particularly in education and health". Pretty much sums up my position...
Sadly, didn't make it under 170lbs - two pints of sponsored beer and ridiculous amounts of coffee put paid to that by half a pound.
Perhaps Si Masterton will help me keep the pounds off when he arrives on Monday? Lots of adventures planned. Going to try and get him on board with the invasion, and perhaps pick up some mercenaries from the commonwealth (we're going to Vancouver).
DD Out
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Bananas Republics
Me again,
Have realised I need to post more regularly to keep you guys interested, and the last post was missing three things - Bridget Jones style update on weight-loss; blunt, under-researched political comment (the stable of most blogs...); and an update on the invasion.
So first, this week - Pints - 3; Wine - 7 (glasses!); Cupcakes (3); weight loss - currently 1.5 pounds! If I can push through today without doing something stupid (like drinking lots of sponsored pints at the diabetes fundraiser I'm going to tonight... ), I could be on to drop below 170 for the first weigh-in of my 30's - woo-hoo!!
Next, comment.
Bill "I didn't inhale and neither did she" Clinton was interviewed this week, and described a grand conspiracy against, originally, him and now Obama by the Republican right. Luckily he thinks they are shooting themselves in the foot. By just putting negative spanners in the works, he thinks they will alienate themselves to the electorate.
Sounds pretty common-sensical. But where would these guys have got the idea that this sort of tactic might work with a modern electorate?
How about the Tories in the UK?
Let's be honest, they've produced practically nothing over the past decade or so, but by sitting back and scoring negative political points, and occasionally dropping policy ideas nicked from other European states, they've managed to hoodwink the nation into thinking they are a better alternative - rather than highlighting the true case that the country is where it is because they have provided a completely ineffectual opposition.
By voting in the Tories we're effectively giving power to Harry Enfield's "I don't think you really wanted to do that" character - and is that what you want? Cos that's what'll happen...
Example. One of the nicked policies is Sweden's policy for school's, which the Economist gets fairly gooey about this week (yes, it's not just The Sun).
In Sweden, a voucher system operates, allowing parent's to choose which school the government will pay for the education of their child at - generally a public one or a for-profit free school. This creates what the Economist loves - a market with true competition in which good schools receive more money so their is an incentive for success, and the 'invisible hand' can operate.
Sounds great doesn't it? Needless to say there are lots of problems with it...
First, the Tories aren't mirroring the Swedish model in full. Very importantly, they aren't allowing schools to operate for-profit, which immediately lessens the incentive. In an article of April 23rd entitled OUT OF THE WINDOW, the Economist slammed Labour's education reforms on the basis that they simply mimicked the actions of markets without real consequences. Apparently the Tories plans to mimic markets without providing real rewards is not as bad though...
I'm not an economist, but I would suggest watching this space...
Secondly, and much more importantly, why are we trying to apply market principles to education at all - especially given the devastating failure of application in their own arena? Why have they become a metanarrative - analogous to fundamentalist religion - which explains everything in every arena?
The answer to that is pretty simple - because they hide the complexity of taking each situation on its own merit, dealing with its individual nuances - fiscal, logistical, moral etc..
The difference between subsequence and consequence is therefore a key one when considering the spread of market force doctrines. Yes, Sweden's schools improved after the introduction of a 'market' policy - but did they improve as a direct consequence, or simply subsequently because of 'side effects'? (Here's where it all gets poorly researched)
Well, the first thing to consider is that Sweden's 'market' doesn't really operate as a free market. There are, in fact, elements to it which look positively socialist. First, everyone is mandated the same amount of money to spend via their voucher. That is certainly not how investing usually works (intelligent investors can affect the market more by virtue of their having, in an efficient market, more capital) and isn't even how other market-driven sectors of education work (for example tertiary education in the US). Second, where does this money come from? Taxation - and taxation at a much more onerous level than in the UK. Sweden's mean personal income tax is near 50%, as opposed to just under 35% in the UK (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Income_Taxes_By_Country.svg). By taxing individuals more, the government makes them less able to operate as players in a free market, as it takes more of their capital to put into a collective pot. Money that, for example, could have been used to pay for private schooling.
Next, we have to consider what this 'market' has actually come to look like. Apparently only 10% of students are enrolled in the new independent schools. So the government still educates 90% of children. Apparently we're supposed to believe that those 90% are being better served as their schools have upped their game due to competition in the market.
However, given that it is well known within education that smaller class sizes improve attainment, isn't it equally likely that the expansion of provision has led to more optimal class sizes, and that that has led to the overall improvement - not the response to competition? Is it in fact even competition if teachers are teaching less students, and therefore getting less money but doing less work in a better environment?
So the introduction of market forces in Swedish education was followed by an improvement in educational attainment, but could it not be a 'side-effect' of centrally funded equal expansion of provision leading to smaller class sizes?
If so, there's only one way to equally expand provision in the UK - raise taxes to Swedish levels. Can't see the Tories proposing that one...
Right, done with the ill-informed rant. Next up - invasion plans. I'm not getting anywhere on my own so have decided to join forces with an overwhelming existing contingent... British actors!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/sep/30/american-tv-invaded-british-actors
I have been cast in a Christmas production (so sadly not coming back) and booked a voiceover gig. Yay!
Got to get off to the latter now, so...
DD Out
Have realised I need to post more regularly to keep you guys interested, and the last post was missing three things - Bridget Jones style update on weight-loss; blunt, under-researched political comment (the stable of most blogs...); and an update on the invasion.
So first, this week - Pints - 3; Wine - 7 (glasses!); Cupcakes (3); weight loss - currently 1.5 pounds! If I can push through today without doing something stupid (like drinking lots of sponsored pints at the diabetes fundraiser I'm going to tonight... ), I could be on to drop below 170 for the first weigh-in of my 30's - woo-hoo!!
Next, comment.
Bill "I didn't inhale and neither did she" Clinton was interviewed this week, and described a grand conspiracy against, originally, him and now Obama by the Republican right. Luckily he thinks they are shooting themselves in the foot. By just putting negative spanners in the works, he thinks they will alienate themselves to the electorate.
Sounds pretty common-sensical. But where would these guys have got the idea that this sort of tactic might work with a modern electorate?
How about the Tories in the UK?
Let's be honest, they've produced practically nothing over the past decade or so, but by sitting back and scoring negative political points, and occasionally dropping policy ideas nicked from other European states, they've managed to hoodwink the nation into thinking they are a better alternative - rather than highlighting the true case that the country is where it is because they have provided a completely ineffectual opposition.
By voting in the Tories we're effectively giving power to Harry Enfield's "I don't think you really wanted to do that" character - and is that what you want? Cos that's what'll happen...
Example. One of the nicked policies is Sweden's policy for school's, which the Economist gets fairly gooey about this week (yes, it's not just The Sun).
In Sweden, a voucher system operates, allowing parent's to choose which school the government will pay for the education of their child at - generally a public one or a for-profit free school. This creates what the Economist loves - a market with true competition in which good schools receive more money so their is an incentive for success, and the 'invisible hand' can operate.
Sounds great doesn't it? Needless to say there are lots of problems with it...
First, the Tories aren't mirroring the Swedish model in full. Very importantly, they aren't allowing schools to operate for-profit, which immediately lessens the incentive. In an article of April 23rd entitled OUT OF THE WINDOW, the Economist slammed Labour's education reforms on the basis that they simply mimicked the actions of markets without real consequences. Apparently the Tories plans to mimic markets without providing real rewards is not as bad though...
I'm not an economist, but I would suggest watching this space...
Secondly, and much more importantly, why are we trying to apply market principles to education at all - especially given the devastating failure of application in their own arena? Why have they become a metanarrative - analogous to fundamentalist religion - which explains everything in every arena?
The answer to that is pretty simple - because they hide the complexity of taking each situation on its own merit, dealing with its individual nuances - fiscal, logistical, moral etc..
The difference between subsequence and consequence is therefore a key one when considering the spread of market force doctrines. Yes, Sweden's schools improved after the introduction of a 'market' policy - but did they improve as a direct consequence, or simply subsequently because of 'side effects'? (Here's where it all gets poorly researched)
Well, the first thing to consider is that Sweden's 'market' doesn't really operate as a free market. There are, in fact, elements to it which look positively socialist. First, everyone is mandated the same amount of money to spend via their voucher. That is certainly not how investing usually works (intelligent investors can affect the market more by virtue of their having, in an efficient market, more capital) and isn't even how other market-driven sectors of education work (for example tertiary education in the US). Second, where does this money come from? Taxation - and taxation at a much more onerous level than in the UK. Sweden's mean personal income tax is near 50%, as opposed to just under 35% in the UK (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Income_Taxes_By_Country.svg). By taxing individuals more, the government makes them less able to operate as players in a free market, as it takes more of their capital to put into a collective pot. Money that, for example, could have been used to pay for private schooling.
Next, we have to consider what this 'market' has actually come to look like. Apparently only 10% of students are enrolled in the new independent schools. So the government still educates 90% of children. Apparently we're supposed to believe that those 90% are being better served as their schools have upped their game due to competition in the market.
However, given that it is well known within education that smaller class sizes improve attainment, isn't it equally likely that the expansion of provision has led to more optimal class sizes, and that that has led to the overall improvement - not the response to competition? Is it in fact even competition if teachers are teaching less students, and therefore getting less money but doing less work in a better environment?
So the introduction of market forces in Swedish education was followed by an improvement in educational attainment, but could it not be a 'side-effect' of centrally funded equal expansion of provision leading to smaller class sizes?
If so, there's only one way to equally expand provision in the UK - raise taxes to Swedish levels. Can't see the Tories proposing that one...
Right, done with the ill-informed rant. Next up - invasion plans. I'm not getting anywhere on my own so have decided to join forces with an overwhelming existing contingent... British actors!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/sep/30/american-tv-invaded-british-actors
I have been cast in a Christmas production (so sadly not coming back) and booked a voiceover gig. Yay!
Got to get off to the latter now, so...
DD Out
Monday, September 28, 2009
Little house on the zen garden
Hi All!
I've been rather busy over the past few weeks, so blogging kind of went out of the window.
This one will be short too.
Basically - the new house is lovely and we continue to improve it, pictures and video for you embedded here.
My Birthday (the second this year!) was excellent, with drinks and nibbles in a wine bar on the ground floor of our b
uilding.Theatre over here continues to go well - I've been cast in a production for Christmas, so sadly won't be back...though will be back later instead. Should be lots of fun - it's called "Sherlock Holme's Christmas Carol"
As I still haven't had the economist
changed to my new address, and also just got the cable we needed for CNN and MSNBC (for a steal!!) I have absolutely no political thoughts at all this time. Just colour charts and feng shui ideas I'm afraid. For example, did you know a table that is slightly lower than an existing bar counter can accentuate the counter and create a useful dining centre? I had no idea until a few weeks ago, but now I do... and for some reason it feels important... what has happened to me?!?Anyway, enjoy the photos
DD out (for now...)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Land of the Free Market
It's been an unseemly time since my last missive, so here goes with an update...
It's still fingers-crossed time, but it looks almost definite that we have a new home! Everything is set up and we just need to go in and sign documents at Escrow on Friday. Whoop Whoop!
Things are looking up slightly on the work front too. I've connected with a number of theatre companies and it looks like I am directing an Opera in November (La Fille Du Regiment) and possibly another event in October, as well as linking up with Education departments around that time. Before that I'm doing some work for my old friends at FreshMinds - researchtastic! - and playing a 50 year old Irish Police Chief/ Vampire in a reading!
So, things are getting busy busy, which is good after 3 months of virtual lethargy.
On to other matters - I have been accused by various people of being overly negative toward my new homeland. I think this is unfair - we Brits bond with others by pointing out their faults, and we're the one country that is allowed to do it to the US without being invaded (the special relationship) so I like to take advantage of that - but nevertheless it may be time to redress the balance.
America is great! It is big and beautiful. The scale of everything is awesome, from the mountains and forests to the Grocery stores, where you can buy everything you could ever need! And it's all pretty reasonably priced (bought a very nice crockery set for 8 the other day, for less than 100 bucks). The pace of life is a little slower, and having fun in the outdoors is mandatory. People are also pretty predictable - downtown dwellers = liberals, suburbanites = independents/ centrist republicans, those in the countryside (otherwise known as real America) = far right crazies. So as long as you stick to the cities or certain suburbs all is good!
They brew fantastic beers here, not the sharp lagers so prevalent in the UK, but very flavourful ales and bitters. Their food is varied and of a high quality, with excellent and knowledgeable service. TV is constant, and includes highlights of UK TV, particularly premiership football at all hours.
Seattle in particular is like living in a city and in the country at the same time. Right on Puget Sound with a beach and numerous lakes, and easy access to many sights of natural beauty and vacation spots. And you can get a place in the equivilent of Zone 1 for the price of something in Zone 6. Public transport downtown is also better than expected, as I have been riding the buses for fun. In the downtown section riding buses is also FREE!
So - there - I love America. Yes, I said it. Now I can go back to finding fault, as I remain an Englishman at heart - and sure of the inate superiority of anything Blighty based. Rar.
DD out
It's still fingers-crossed time, but it looks almost definite that we have a new home! Everything is set up and we just need to go in and sign documents at Escrow on Friday. Whoop Whoop!
Things are looking up slightly on the work front too. I've connected with a number of theatre companies and it looks like I am directing an Opera in November (La Fille Du Regiment) and possibly another event in October, as well as linking up with Education departments around that time. Before that I'm doing some work for my old friends at FreshMinds - researchtastic! - and playing a 50 year old Irish Police Chief/ Vampire in a reading!
So, things are getting busy busy, which is good after 3 months of virtual lethargy.
On to other matters - I have been accused by various people of being overly negative toward my new homeland. I think this is unfair - we Brits bond with others by pointing out their faults, and we're the one country that is allowed to do it to the US without being invaded (the special relationship) so I like to take advantage of that - but nevertheless it may be time to redress the balance.
America is great! It is big and beautiful. The scale of everything is awesome, from the mountains and forests to the Grocery stores, where you can buy everything you could ever need! And it's all pretty reasonably priced (bought a very nice crockery set for 8 the other day, for less than 100 bucks). The pace of life is a little slower, and having fun in the outdoors is mandatory. People are also pretty predictable - downtown dwellers = liberals, suburbanites = independents/ centrist republicans, those in the countryside (otherwise known as real America) = far right crazies. So as long as you stick to the cities or certain suburbs all is good!
They brew fantastic beers here, not the sharp lagers so prevalent in the UK, but very flavourful ales and bitters. Their food is varied and of a high quality, with excellent and knowledgeable service. TV is constant, and includes highlights of UK TV, particularly premiership football at all hours.
Seattle in particular is like living in a city and in the country at the same time. Right on Puget Sound with a beach and numerous lakes, and easy access to many sights of natural beauty and vacation spots. And you can get a place in the equivilent of Zone 1 for the price of something in Zone 6. Public transport downtown is also better than expected, as I have been riding the buses for fun. In the downtown section riding buses is also FREE!
So - there - I love America. Yes, I said it. Now I can go back to finding fault, as I remain an Englishman at heart - and sure of the inate superiority of anything Blighty based. Rar.
DD out
Friday, August 21, 2009
The flight of the condo
An exciting week in the life of the Dorrians!
We've made an offer on a condominium (flat to you and me, but you know how these Americans like to overcomplicate things). It's a lovely place right in the heart of the liveliest neighbourhood in Seattle - Capitol Hill.
Capitol Hill is full of nut-jobs who might as well wear tin-foil hats on their head as they rage about watering the tree of liberty (more on that later) and avoiding death panels... but luckily that Capitol Hill is in Washington DC! Capitol Hill in Seattle is full of students and artists (and admittedly a few nut-jobs), with lots of fringe theatres and other cool cultural elements. Our (prospective) building also has lots of amenities (including a zen garden!) and, most importantly for you lot, a guest suite. So, if sofa beds aren't your thing, you can come stay with us for about the cost of a B&B.
We're in the midst of all the paperwork at the moment, but the inspection and appraisal have both gone through, so we're close! Fingers-crossed please!
In addition to housebuying we are also both dieting. We've organised as "Biggest Loser" competition with some friends; to add some spice it is Boys vs Girls. So, having not been to the gym in months, I have now been everyday this week - and went twice on Tuesday for 2 hours of CV. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't lost any weight at all thus far, but apparently it takes a while. Watch this space (I promise this blog won't become a Bridget Jones' Diary style wallow in self-pity though... pints 12, cigarettes 40, blah blah blah isn't my sloaney guilt entertaining...).
On a wider front, there are three slight concerns with our venture into real estate.
First, Seattle is apparently due a massive earthquake any time soon. Scientists from Wasila polytechnic (I forget the name of the actual institute) have discovered that the fault-line is much closer to the Emerald City than previously thought. Turns out nobody bothered to earthquake-proof any of the buildings or infrastructure so it's all a little concerning.
Secondly, I'm told that vampires live in a place called Forks, which is about 3 hours drive away, and that they occasionally visit the downtown area. If this turns out to be true, I think it will have a detrimental effect on resale value...
Thirdly, there may be a civil war in America very soon. Nothing to do with me I assure you - though as you know it was part of the plan (divide and conquer). What I hadn't reckoned on was exactly how insane a goodly number of American's are. A significant minority are now turning up to presidential events wearing T-shirts bearing the slogan "water the tree of liberty" - which implies that Obama is a tyrant and that they think he should be killed. Given that a number of these "protestors" are also carrying guns (i.e. assault rifles) it's all a bit concerning (I use the word "protestors" with caveat, as I think it's more likely that they are just unhinged individuals with violent tendencies).
What is this tyranny of which they speak? Expanding healthcare to a larger portion of the population and making it more affordable all round. Hopefully this makes no sense to you (otherwise I am a little concerned...), so let me explain.
In an earlier blog I wrote that the Bible was being distorted to blacken the name of socialism. At the time I had no idea how this was being done, but I have since engaged in some research (don't say I never give you nothing).
In certain areas of the country, various versions of an idea that could be termed 'biblical capitalism' seem to have taken root. The extreme version of this notion is that the Bible was written with the express intention of promoting Capitalism - God intends to operate as the invisible hand and wants his followers to help him. This is clearly a little bit crazy, appealing mainly to the hubristic, such as delusional sociopaths and US Senators. And I'm not kidding about the latter. If you're interested, read up on "The Family" and the C Street house.
The moderate version is more insidious and wider spread. In this version the basic principle is apparently that distribution of wealth is theft, and the Bible is against theft. The problem is that this notion is not Biblical, but comes from a distortion of the Protestant (or Puritan for the Yanks) Work Ethic; in which worldly success compensated for the removal of priestly assurance of salvation post the reformation. So, for moderate biblical capitalists, distribution of wealth is akin to taking from the holy to give to the unholy. It's a good work if they decide to do this themselves (thus adding to their kitty) but if the government forces them to do it via taxation, it is theft. Hence Obama is a tyrant.
The rather massive problem with this is that the Protestant Work Ethic is a side-effect of the reformation, not it's intention. The intention of the reformation was to stop people thinking they could buy their way into heaven, and make them see that salvation is the gift of God. In provocative terms - He distributes his wealth to all who ask for it.
There is way more that I could say on this, but it would get boring for most of you (see here for a good discussion www.lilligren.com/church/money.htm)! Suffice to say that anyone who ever tells you that the Bible mandates capitalism is either misguided or dangerous.
Hope all is well in the UK - more fun dieting tips and less ranting in the next blog I promise!
DD out
We've made an offer on a condominium (flat to you and me, but you know how these Americans like to overcomplicate things). It's a lovely place right in the heart of the liveliest neighbourhood in Seattle - Capitol Hill.
Capitol Hill is full of nut-jobs who might as well wear tin-foil hats on their head as they rage about watering the tree of liberty (more on that later) and avoiding death panels... but luckily that Capitol Hill is in Washington DC! Capitol Hill in Seattle is full of students and artists (and admittedly a few nut-jobs), with lots of fringe theatres and other cool cultural elements. Our (prospective) building also has lots of amenities (including a zen garden!) and, most importantly for you lot, a guest suite. So, if sofa beds aren't your thing, you can come stay with us for about the cost of a B&B.
We're in the midst of all the paperwork at the moment, but the inspection and appraisal have both gone through, so we're close! Fingers-crossed please!
In addition to housebuying we are also both dieting. We've organised as "Biggest Loser" competition with some friends; to add some spice it is Boys vs Girls. So, having not been to the gym in months, I have now been everyday this week - and went twice on Tuesday for 2 hours of CV. I'm a little disappointed that I haven't lost any weight at all thus far, but apparently it takes a while. Watch this space (I promise this blog won't become a Bridget Jones' Diary style wallow in self-pity though... pints 12, cigarettes 40, blah blah blah isn't my sloaney guilt entertaining...).
On a wider front, there are three slight concerns with our venture into real estate.
First, Seattle is apparently due a massive earthquake any time soon. Scientists from Wasila polytechnic (I forget the name of the actual institute) have discovered that the fault-line is much closer to the Emerald City than previously thought. Turns out nobody bothered to earthquake-proof any of the buildings or infrastructure so it's all a little concerning.
Secondly, I'm told that vampires live in a place called Forks, which is about 3 hours drive away, and that they occasionally visit the downtown area. If this turns out to be true, I think it will have a detrimental effect on resale value...
Thirdly, there may be a civil war in America very soon. Nothing to do with me I assure you - though as you know it was part of the plan (divide and conquer). What I hadn't reckoned on was exactly how insane a goodly number of American's are. A significant minority are now turning up to presidential events wearing T-shirts bearing the slogan "water the tree of liberty" - which implies that Obama is a tyrant and that they think he should be killed. Given that a number of these "protestors" are also carrying guns (i.e. assault rifles) it's all a bit concerning (I use the word "protestors" with caveat, as I think it's more likely that they are just unhinged individuals with violent tendencies).
What is this tyranny of which they speak? Expanding healthcare to a larger portion of the population and making it more affordable all round. Hopefully this makes no sense to you (otherwise I am a little concerned...), so let me explain.
In an earlier blog I wrote that the Bible was being distorted to blacken the name of socialism. At the time I had no idea how this was being done, but I have since engaged in some research (don't say I never give you nothing).
In certain areas of the country, various versions of an idea that could be termed 'biblical capitalism' seem to have taken root. The extreme version of this notion is that the Bible was written with the express intention of promoting Capitalism - God intends to operate as the invisible hand and wants his followers to help him. This is clearly a little bit crazy, appealing mainly to the hubristic, such as delusional sociopaths and US Senators. And I'm not kidding about the latter. If you're interested, read up on "The Family" and the C Street house.
The moderate version is more insidious and wider spread. In this version the basic principle is apparently that distribution of wealth is theft, and the Bible is against theft. The problem is that this notion is not Biblical, but comes from a distortion of the Protestant (or Puritan for the Yanks) Work Ethic; in which worldly success compensated for the removal of priestly assurance of salvation post the reformation. So, for moderate biblical capitalists, distribution of wealth is akin to taking from the holy to give to the unholy. It's a good work if they decide to do this themselves (thus adding to their kitty) but if the government forces them to do it via taxation, it is theft. Hence Obama is a tyrant.
The rather massive problem with this is that the Protestant Work Ethic is a side-effect of the reformation, not it's intention. The intention of the reformation was to stop people thinking they could buy their way into heaven, and make them see that salvation is the gift of God. In provocative terms - He distributes his wealth to all who ask for it.
There is way more that I could say on this, but it would get boring for most of you (see here for a good discussion www.lilligren.com/church/money.htm)! Suffice to say that anyone who ever tells you that the Bible mandates capitalism is either misguided or dangerous.
Hope all is well in the UK - more fun dieting tips and less ranting in the next blog I promise!
DD out
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tick Tock Tick Tock
The culture vultures amongst you may have noticed that the photo I used to advertise my premature 30th Birthday Party came from the classic 1976 Sci-Fi movie, Logan's Run, which depicts a society where anyone over 30 is euthanised for the good of society.
Oh how I laughed at my humour whilst I was in the UK! Now I am coming to regret it...
According to the savvy political commentator, and all round good egg, Sarah Palin, President (Prime Minister) Obama is planning to set up Death Panels to see off the old and the unproductive.
I am currently the latter (hence having so much time to devote to blogging...) and in just over a month I will also be aged. The clock is well and truly ticking...
So, the search for work begins! I have contacted theatre's with varying degrees of success, but theatre work won't be enough to pay the bills, especially as my hopes for education work have been scuppered by the major theatre insisting I apprentice (i.e. observe and work unpaid) for a year before I can teach... despite the fact that I have over 5 years relevant experience in the UK. Needless to say I thought that was ridiculous, so am cutting off my nose to spite my face...
Luckily, Seattle seems to be awash with other interesting work possibilities - with lots of non-profit organisations in the vicinity. Also, I am surprised at how easy it is to become a Barrister here. None of the years of training and endless dinners! Apparently it's a week long training course on roasting 'the beans' (which I'm guessing is slang for defendents) and then you start with full medical benefits. There's a firm, that seems to have something to do with a mermaid, which is very popular, so I may start there...
I'm also going to be working on a blog for Kira's Dad. I think you can find it by clicking on my profile name on this site. It's all about sustainability in the hotel and tourism industry.
Kira, by the way, is going great guns. She's still getting voice work from the UK, has two auditions next week, and is organising lots of fun social events - watch this space!
We've also put in an offer on an apartment, and are waiting to hear back - so keep those fingers-crossed!
Keep it real in the UK. Eastside! (of the atlantic...)
DD out
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I'd like to buy a vow please!
The wheel of fortune has continued turning for the Dorrian's this week. See if you can guess what the main event was;
_O_ R_ _ _ _ A L
HINT: The answer is not "Poo Removal"
This blog might well be longer when I get a chance to edit it, but it just took me all morning to convert the video file and splice it into small enough pieces to upload. So enjoy the video for now! More later...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The heat is on (duh nuh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh nuh nuh - Whoa - ooo - Whoa -oh-ooo)
I am writing this blog in a state of exhaustion, brought on by two things:
1. The Couples’ Decathlon was this weekend
2. Seattle is experiencing a humid heatwave
The decathlon was the awesome event that I built it up to be. Ten events (really?!) over two days, made to test physical strength, agility, stamina, patience, creativity... and luckiness.
Kira and I triumphed in the latter category. Despite being 5’6” and 4’11” respectively, we came 2nd out of 9 in the volleyball – almost entirely through reverse psychology. Kira was so vocal about our lack of ability that our opponents took pity on us for the first 10 or so points, after which they realised we were not quite (quite...) as bad as she had made out. At that point they brought their A game, but, without having played themselves in, enough balls were over-hit for us to win the game!
Next up was the crossword, which we won! Beating the US at their own trivia on their soil – it was enough to make me nostalgic for the invasion; but that is still on hold... more on that later...
Unfortunately, the next event relied on pure sporting ability - a canoe race over a kilometre. We lost, but not terribly - considering one team had a canoe instructor in it (30-40 seconds behind most of the field, and a minute and a half behind the winners, who did it in 6 minutes). Then onto mini-golf (where
we placed mid-pack) and the final event of the day - a newlyweds game show (wives ask questions, husbands have to guess their answers and vice versa). Incredibly, after that event we were 2nd going into Day 2.
Day 2 was, however, a disaster.
Last in the first event (an engineering challenge), mid table in the 2nd and 3rd (a taste test and a creativity challenge, result shown in photo below). Then came horseshoes. Horseshoes is an awful, awful, awful game. You have to throw a horseshoe at a metal post 40 FEET AWAY, and try to get it to ring round it. NO ONE could play this game, so we actually managed to come in 6th – even though Kira could only throw the horseshow 30 FEET...
Then the Eliminator – an obstacle course requiring speed, strength and no fear of gunge. Needless to say... we lost by a mile... video to follow shortly.
This meant that we ended in 6th place overall. Not bad, but hardly striking fear into the natives.
However, the invasion is in deeper trouble than this conveys. It is really hot here. It’s been in the late 80s all week and is now into the 90s for the foreseeable future. As we all know, the only things we British can do in the heat are moan, go out in the midday sun, and drink tea – so the invasion is well and truly off until the Autumn (which the Americans call “The Fall” – if only they knew how apt that will become...).
In other news... the healthcare battle rages on. I see that you’ve been getting articles on this in the UK now (one in the observer over the weekend) so you may well be fully briefed, but to further clarify, the figures I gave were for one adult under 30. As soon as I hit 30 my premiums go up by 25%. Then it’s a 25% increase at least every 5 years. On top of inflationary increases. So once you get older... well, you do the math. And then the insurance companies use your money to employ people who work day and night to figure out how to make sure that you actually won't be insured once you fall ill (for example, a women was denied cancer treatment because she hadn't properly notified the company of acne when she was a teenager).
Please never let this happen in the UK!! It is evil – pure and simple.
And how does it survive here in the US? As far as I can tell it is actually because Republicans, (who depend on health insurance company donations to maintain their mansions) and some like-minded (i.e. greedy) democrats, feign disgust at a universal public healthcare programme because it is “Socialist” and will leave health in the hands of faceless “Bureaucrats” (despite the fact that, as members of congress, they are on a public plan).
Socialism, in most of the US, is equivalent to Satanism. This is unbelievably ironic in a country in which politicians incrementally increase their references to ‘God’ and ‘Jesus ’ each year (Read the Gospel of Luke and you'll see that Jesus was pretty keen on the welfare of the poor) – yet these politicians have somehow used consumer dread and cold war echoes to sell large swathes of the country on the belief that providing equal access to healthcare is both un-Christian and un-American. Guess Defoe was right when he wrote “And of all plagues with which mankind are curs’d/ Ecclesiastic tyranny’s the worst” – especially when the ecclesiastic is really a money-grabbing politician.
Anyway, enough pretentious vitriol from me! The next post will be sooner than you expect (want?), as Kira and I are renewing our vows this weekend. Should be a great day, with a ceremony, then BBQ and watersports! More next week...
Double D out
1. The Couples’ Decathlon was this weekend
2. Seattle is experiencing a humid heatwave
The decathlon was the awesome event that I built it up to be. Ten events (really?!) over two days, made to test physical strength, agility, stamina, patience, creativity... and luckiness.
Kira and I triumphed in the latter category. Despite being 5’6” and 4’11” respectively, we came 2nd out of 9 in the volleyball – almost entirely through reverse psychology. Kira was so vocal about our lack of ability that our opponents took pity on us for the first 10 or so points, after which they realised we were not quite (quite...) as bad as she had made out. At that point they brought their A game, but, without having played themselves in, enough balls were over-hit for us to win the game!
Next up was the crossword, which we won! Beating the US at their own trivia on their soil – it was enough to make me nostalgic for the invasion; but that is still on hold... more on that later...
Unfortunately, the next event relied on pure sporting ability - a canoe race over a kilometre. We lost, but not terribly - considering one team had a canoe instructor in it (30-40 seconds behind most of the field, and a minute and a half behind the winners, who did it in 6 minutes). Then onto mini-golf (where
we placed mid-pack) and the final event of the day - a newlyweds game show (wives ask questions, husbands have to guess their answers and vice versa). Incredibly, after that event we were 2nd going into Day 2.
Day 2 was, however, a disaster.
Last in the first event (an engineering challenge), mid table in the 2nd and 3rd (a taste test and a creativity challenge, result shown in photo below). Then came horseshoes. Horseshoes is an awful, awful, awful game. You have to throw a horseshoe at a metal post 40 FEET AWAY, and try to get it to ring round it. NO ONE could play this game, so we actually managed to come in 6th – even though Kira could only throw the horseshow 30 FEET...
Then the Eliminator – an obstacle course requiring speed, strength and no fear of gunge. Needless to say... we lost by a mile... video to follow shortly.
This meant that we ended in 6th place overall. Not bad, but hardly striking fear into the natives.
However, the invasion is in deeper trouble than this conveys. It is really hot here. It’s been in the late 80s all week and is now into the 90s for the foreseeable future. As we all know, the only things we British can do in the heat are moan, go out in the midday sun, and drink tea – so the invasion is well and truly off until the Autumn (which the Americans call “The Fall” – if only they knew how apt that will become...).
In other news... the healthcare battle rages on. I see that you’ve been getting articles on this in the UK now (one in the observer over the weekend) so you may well be fully briefed, but to further clarify, the figures I gave were for one adult under 30. As soon as I hit 30 my premiums go up by 25%. Then it’s a 25% increase at least every 5 years. On top of inflationary increases. So once you get older... well, you do the math. And then the insurance companies use your money to employ people who work day and night to figure out how to make sure that you actually won't be insured once you fall ill (for example, a women was denied cancer treatment because she hadn't properly notified the company of acne when she was a teenager).
Please never let this happen in the UK!! It is evil – pure and simple.
And how does it survive here in the US? As far as I can tell it is actually because Republicans, (who depend on health insurance company donations to maintain their mansions) and some like-minded (i.e. greedy) democrats, feign disgust at a universal public healthcare programme because it is “Socialist” and will leave health in the hands of faceless “Bureaucrats” (despite the fact that, as members of congress, they are on a public plan).
Socialism, in most of the US, is equivalent to Satanism. This is unbelievably ironic in a country in which politicians incrementally increase their references to ‘God’ and ‘Jesus ’ each year (Read the Gospel of Luke and you'll see that Jesus was pretty keen on the welfare of the poor) – yet these politicians have somehow used consumer dread and cold war echoes to sell large swathes of the country on the belief that providing equal access to healthcare is both un-Christian and un-American. Guess Defoe was right when he wrote “And of all plagues with which mankind are curs’d/ Ecclesiastic tyranny’s the worst” – especially when the ecclesiastic is really a money-grabbing politician.
Anyway, enough pretentious vitriol from me! The next post will be sooner than you expect (want?), as Kira and I are renewing our vows this weekend. Should be a great day, with a ceremony, then BBQ and watersports! More next week...
Double D out
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Home on the range
Another week has gone by in the home of supersizing, but progress has slowed markedly for the dorrian advance party - or at least one half of it. Kira has got a job and several auditions, and is apparently considering a run for congress. I have been sitting on my ass (that's butt not donkey - trying to assimilate so the natives won't suspect anything) eating burgers and gaining weight. With my fast balding pate I will soon look like Homer Simpson - all I need is a touch of jaundice to round off the transformation.
Obviously this can't last - unless I get hit by a truck. Then I can sue, win big, and sit in watching cable for the rest of my natural life... Woo hooo, the American Dream! Thankfully this is quite a strong possibility as public transport in Issaquah (the suburb we're staying in currently) doesn't really exist, so I'll need to cycle to get anywhere near an efficient mode of transportation to downtown Seattle (about 15 miles away). With a combination of my ineptitude, lack of cycle lanes and lack of street lighting, the big pay off should be anyday now... watch this space!
More seriously, I am considering calling off the invasion. Many of you will be saddened by this I know, but the thing is I suspect we have been beaten to it. A British stooge is already running the Country - and he's not even doing it secretly!
I am, of course, referring to Barack Obama. If he is not British I will eat my bowler hat! The evidence is all there: The concern for universal health care combined with the lack of a plan to properly pay for it; The shame about past invasions of other countries tempered with the decision to not bring the perpetrators to book or make reparations; the visible lack of a firearm; Speeches that don't end with a "yee-haw!"; and finally, though this is difficult to see without a massive american TV, if you look very carefully beneath his nose you can see evidence of a stiff upper lip.
With the invasion on hold, Kira and I decided to take ourselves away for the weekend (our 5th Wedding Anniversary). We went to a lovely getaway called Whidbey Island, and stayed in a log cabin. It was utterly beautiful and a lovely
relaxing time away after all the moving stress. 
Pictures of the cabin - and of Kit, our wond
er car.
We spent most of the time in the hot tub or the swimming pool - and didn't feel guilty for it at all!
The relaxation will serve us well as Kira and I are about to take part in a major sporting event (stop laughing!) - the 2009 Couples Decathlon. Full details are available at www.couplesdecathlon.com - but I'll start by telling you it will involve us playing volleyball (not really a sport for hobbits). Don't worry, there will be video evidence.
Lastly, two significant additions have been made this week - our iphones! I am not going to put the numbers here but will email them to anyone who wants them. If you have a VOIP (voice over internet phone) this is particularly good, as the technology can't tell the difference between US landlines and mobiles, so you can call for free!
Hope you are all well wherever you are!
DD
Obviously this can't last - unless I get hit by a truck. Then I can sue, win big, and sit in watching cable for the rest of my natural life... Woo hooo, the American Dream! Thankfully this is quite a strong possibility as public transport in Issaquah (the suburb we're staying in currently) doesn't really exist, so I'll need to cycle to get anywhere near an efficient mode of transportation to downtown Seattle (about 15 miles away). With a combination of my ineptitude, lack of cycle lanes and lack of street lighting, the big pay off should be anyday now... watch this space!
More seriously, I am considering calling off the invasion. Many of you will be saddened by this I know, but the thing is I suspect we have been beaten to it. A British stooge is already running the Country - and he's not even doing it secretly!
I am, of course, referring to Barack Obama. If he is not British I will eat my bowler hat! The evidence is all there: The concern for universal health care combined with the lack of a plan to properly pay for it; The shame about past invasions of other countries tempered with the decision to not bring the perpetrators to book or make reparations; the visible lack of a firearm; Speeches that don't end with a "yee-haw!"; and finally, though this is difficult to see without a massive american TV, if you look very carefully beneath his nose you can see evidence of a stiff upper lip.
With the invasion on hold, Kira and I decided to take ourselves away for the weekend (our 5th Wedding Anniversary). We went to a lovely getaway called Whidbey Island, and stayed in a log cabin. It was utterly beautiful and a lovely
relaxing time away after all the moving stress. 
Pictures of the cabin - and of Kit, our wond
er car.We spent most of the time in the hot tub or the swimming pool - and didn't feel guilty for it at all!
The relaxation will serve us well as Kira and I are about to take part in a major sporting event (stop laughing!) - the 2009 Couples Decathlon. Full details are available at www.couplesdecathlon.com - but I'll start by telling you it will involve us playing volleyball (not really a sport for hobbits). Don't worry, there will be video evidence.
Lastly, two significant additions have been made this week - our iphones! I am not going to put the numbers here but will email them to anyone who wants them. If you have a VOIP (voice over internet phone) this is particularly good, as the technology can't tell the difference between US landlines and mobiles, so you can call for free!
Hope you are all well wherever you are!
DD
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Dorrian's have landed!
We landed last Wednesday and went through immigration as usual, only to be given a rather ominous looking 'yellow card' (i.e. A4 size piece of yellow card from the US equivilant of WH Smiths) and be told to "march down the red line to the desk at the end". Luckily all was fine, but they know how to make you want to crap your pants! We just had to sit and wait for a while before an agent was free to process my paperwork and then it was "Welcome to the US"!
After picking up the 6 bags of stuff off the first carousel, then putting them back on another conveyor belt to the main terminal and getting them off again at the other end (fun!) we were ready for dinner at the cheesecake factory. Kira's friends were all there with Americana (a hat and flag for me), so I didn't think that was the best time to tell them I was there to reconquer, and instead sat down to a quart of stella and a burger the size of my head, followed by a cheesecake that seemed to have been made in the mould of a mid-size iron.
The next day was uneventful (getting over jetlag... going for a run.. honest I did!) then we went to point 1 on the moving over list - buy a car. Having never bought a car in the UK (nor driven one...) this was always going to be interesting, but when I looked at prices my reaction was to go into shock. Even with the dollar/pound conversion things seemed excessive - probably due to the size of cars which are uniformly much bigger. We drove a hard bargain though, and ended up with a decent deal on a Honda Civic Hybrid, which should apparently get us about 44 miles to the gallon. Nice! All that wheeler dealing left us tired and hungry so it was off to a BBQ that night, where I had a lovely steak and Kira had a garden burger (vegetarians... what are they thinking?!?!)
Saturday was the 4th of July. Again I chickened out on telling the yanks that I am the advance party (there were a lot of them) but I am slowly building up the courage. On their part they made an impressive show of force with their fireworks. I had never seen organised fireworks in the US, and they were amazing. They make our normal 5th November stuff look pitiful, and the millenium fireworks in London look like a backyard catherine wheel. Unreal.
Back down to earth on Sunday with house-hunting. Real estate in Seattle is very different to London style. The ones we saw had much older fixtures and fittings in kooky apartment buildings with very limited parking (in a city that depends on the car). Apparently it is normal to feel like this after only seeing a few properties, and some things are cosmetic and can be changed, but we feel a bit shortchanged on London style at the moment...
Then today - health insurance. I am forced to ponder the irony of a system that provides healthcare at such a cost that you would have to sell a kidney in order to get any. To give you an idea, one plan we looked at would be 202 dollars a month - each. And that's just where it starts. Like car insurance you have an excess (deductible). That is 3000 dollars. Beyond that, there is what they call co-insurance. This means you pay 20-30% of everything up to a total (including deductible) of 9000 dollars. So, the long and the short of it is, you pay around $1500 a year in premiums, then if you get seriously ill you could be liable for up to another $9000 - making the cost of a serious illness $10,500, before you factor in lost income etc. And that is PER PERSON. If I hear anyone complain about the NHS ever again, I am going to make them pay my premium for a month.
Before it sounds like I am on a complete downer I should say that all this is tempered by the fact that Seattle is beautiful. Heart stoppingly beautiful. The views are stunning and there is greenery everywhere on a scale that you just don't get in the UK. So come out and visit - just make sure you get travel insurance or you may never be able to leave!
After picking up the 6 bags of stuff off the first carousel, then putting them back on another conveyor belt to the main terminal and getting them off again at the other end (fun!) we were ready for dinner at the cheesecake factory. Kira's friends were all there with Americana (a hat and flag for me), so I didn't think that was the best time to tell them I was there to reconquer, and instead sat down to a quart of stella and a burger the size of my head, followed by a cheesecake that seemed to have been made in the mould of a mid-size iron.
The next day was uneventful (getting over jetlag... going for a run.. honest I did!) then we went to point 1 on the moving over list - buy a car. Having never bought a car in the UK (nor driven one...) this was always going to be interesting, but when I looked at prices my reaction was to go into shock. Even with the dollar/pound conversion things seemed excessive - probably due to the size of cars which are uniformly much bigger. We drove a hard bargain though, and ended up with a decent deal on a Honda Civic Hybrid, which should apparently get us about 44 miles to the gallon. Nice! All that wheeler dealing left us tired and hungry so it was off to a BBQ that night, where I had a lovely steak and Kira had a garden burger (vegetarians... what are they thinking?!?!)
Saturday was the 4th of July. Again I chickened out on telling the yanks that I am the advance party (there were a lot of them) but I am slowly building up the courage. On their part they made an impressive show of force with their fireworks. I had never seen organised fireworks in the US, and they were amazing. They make our normal 5th November stuff look pitiful, and the millenium fireworks in London look like a backyard catherine wheel. Unreal.
Back down to earth on Sunday with house-hunting. Real estate in Seattle is very different to London style. The ones we saw had much older fixtures and fittings in kooky apartment buildings with very limited parking (in a city that depends on the car). Apparently it is normal to feel like this after only seeing a few properties, and some things are cosmetic and can be changed, but we feel a bit shortchanged on London style at the moment...
Before it sounds like I am on a complete downer I should say that all this is tempered by the fact that Seattle is beautiful. Heart stoppingly beautiful. The views are stunning and there is greenery everywhere on a scale that you just don't get in the UK. So come out and visit - just make sure you get travel insurance or you may never be able to leave!
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